Pattern Mixing: Everyone's a critic

There are a lot of things I love about blogging. I love drumming up topics to write about and doing research for a post. I love sharing tips regarding thrifting and shopping for vintage. I love networking with other fashion bloggers through my own blog, IFB, Twitter, and Facebook. And I love reading other blogs and learning all I can about the ever-changing world of fashion and personal style.

However, the thing I adore most about blogging is the wealth of learning opportunities, both within and outside of fashion. Because, truth be told, I'm a gigantic nerd. I was one of those people who cried at their high school and college graduations not because I was afraid to enter the "real world," but because it meant I would no longer be in class. Whether it's statistics, html code, or the proper way of blending eye shadows, I'm that hand-waving, brown-nosing, front row student bursting with enthusiasm. I take copious notes. I watch how-to clips on YouTube. I make magazine pages hemorrhage with fluorescent yellow highlighter. I am a certifiable dork.

This week one of my goals was to try my hand at pattern-mixing. In case you've been living under a rock, forming an ensemble around mixed patterns (and textures) has been a hot fashion trend since, well, Marc Jacob's plaid-heavy grunge collection back in 1992. Naturally, I planned my attack carefully. I methodically researched pattern-mixing on Google, bringing up tips from a encyclopedic collection of different sources. Glamour suggested working around a base color. Academichic recommended allowing one pattern be the dominant player over another, such as a tweed skirt with a striped sweater. Suzy of Miss Vinyl Ahoy advised me to think of one pattern as a solid, such as a blouse with small polka dots or a tiny print, and pair a bolder item with it. On Kelinda.KELINDA, I also learned to pair loud patterns with more subtle ones, while Pixie In Pumps' style inspiration folder gave me a glimpse into pattern-mixing on the runway. And no one does pattern mixing as well as my style guru Erin of Work With What You've Got.

This morning I woke up feeling refreshed and confident, armed with pages of research and closet full of patterned separates. I would so rock this, I decided. My gold cable-knit sweater, striped long-sleeved tee, and floaty floral skirt seemed perfect for my debut into pattern-mixing. Carefully I put the pieces on, sauntered out my bedroom, and left the house for a day of errands and thrifting.

Either I failed miserably at pattern mixing, or the public isn't quite ready for this clearly adventurous look, because I received many quizzical looks during the day. Some women outright stared. Teenagers elbowed each other, encouraging closer examination of my ensemble. The check-out woman at Kroger informed me that I looked"...interesting" (insert sneer.) However, the harshest criticism originated from my own family, when my youngest child coldly announced that I looked "like a crazy hobo." Harsh. Then again, this is how he prefers to dress:

Foam Mario Bros. hat, white shorts, and a blankie. It's what all the hip people are wearing this season, apparently.

So I'm not that worried. I'll admit that mixing patterns was definitely out of my comfort zone. My particular combination took some getting used to. And I felt kind of rebellious all day...which was sort of fun.

Have you tried mixing patterns? Or do you shy away from this trend? Why or why not? And did I indeed fail miserably?

Thrifted Loft cardigan; thrifted J Crew long-sleeved tee; thrifted vintage Ann Taylor silk skirt; Gap Outlet tights; Nine West oxfords, Target belt

A discourse on insomnia, or why I wore purple suede boots

Insomnia is a sneaky beast that creeps through your bedroom window one night, nests at the end of your bed, and does not budge without high doses of medication. It will change your brain chemistry, leading you to do things you never, ever would have done on a full night's sleep. Such as foggily putting in only one contact lens in the morning, leading you to freak the hell out out with the fear that you're going blind, and making you feel like a complete moron when you eventually realize you only have one contact lens in.

Insomnia will trick you into neglecting to buy the one thing you most needed at the supermarket. It will cause you to send your kids off to school without their lunch, forcing you to return sheepishly an hour later, lunch bags in tow. It will lead you to wear matchy-matchy outfits, coordinating your shoes to your eyeshadow to your shirt to your toenail polish (I have a thing against this. It just looks too...done.) Even worse, insomnia will transform you from a mildly mannered, happy, light-hearted person into a cranky, obstinate bitch. You'll watch yourself becoming short-tempered and obnoxious and feel powerless to do anything about it. You might flip people off at the drive-through, be snide towards your husband, or give evil side-eye to the perfect looking woman in her perfect outfit with her perfect little doe-eyed children and her Ken-doll perfect husband at the dry cleaners. You will burn with hatred and jealousy, betting that she gets a full eight hours of sleep, on a $10,000 hand-stitched Swiss mattress under a fluffy white down comforter while her adoring husband fans her gently with a palm leaf.

Insomnia will gift you with a lovely pair of heavy, blood-shot eyes. You will stumble around in a stupor similar to drunkenness, counting down the minutes until you can crawl into bed. And yet, when you finally do, you will inexplicably be wide-awake. You'll send anxious, desperate prayers to God praying for sleep, promising to go to church every Sunday, to stop swearing, to cease spending money on clothes and instead donate it to charity if you can just get some sleep. The more worried you get about sleeping, the less likely it becomes that you will actually sleep. Before you know it it's six am and you've only just begun to doze off.

So, here I am, in my matchy-matchy outfit, after three nights without sleep. Sure, I'm smiling. But deep down I'm already terrified I won't sleep that night. And I'm wondering what on God's green earth made me wear these boots, and forget to cut off the little white tag from my belt.


J Crew blazer, Gap button-down; Seven For All Mankind button-fly bootcut jeans;ancient Nine West boots; Target belt, Nordstrom necklace